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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Random Thoughts on a New Year Eve

AkiraSabine has had enough. She wants to move on. She doesn't know her future. Many things flashes through her mind every single second. She can't concentrate, she can't differentiate reality from mere thoughts.
She can't give her all, she doesn't know her next step, she felt she's abandoned in a dungeon,
no one's seeing, no one's's hearing and no one giving a thought.

She wants to put a stop to the present but she doesn't know what then?
She thinks she's had enough but a small voice is telling her, NO! not now.
She thinks life's not treating her well now, and she wants to leave, no one's listening,
no one's understanding, no one's emphatizing, but everyone's talking.
People says that's complaining but hell no.. she wasn't complaining.
who the hell they think they are to judge her?

but she thinks again, If she makes the move now..
" That would mean she's weak,if she were to walk away now
That would mean she's not strong, if she just give it all up that easily
That would mean she's not matured enough to cope , if she were to turn her back
That would mean she's a complete failure, if she couldn't live with barriers."

She's weak... NO!.... She's too pampered... NO!.. She's not a good asset ..Hell, NO!

Hell, couldn't she not relate those thoughts to herself.
So long, she thinks life shouldn't need to be this way..
So long, she believes there's a better opportunity should she chose another direction
So long, she thinks God has a better plan for her (she's a free thinker, by the way)
so long, she thinks work doesnt'need to affect her personal life, her physical & mental health, her personal quiet time, her personal stand, her beliefs, her carefree character.

Sometimes, she thinks, although many work for money, there are also many who work due to
ego. They push themselves in order to compete with colleagues. It's not just for the bigger
bigger paycheque, it's for the compliments and status. Even without a bigger paycheque, the feeling of being more knowledgeable, more capable and valuable to the organization outdoes
the money. She thinks she's one of them considerieng now that she's thinking "What would the rest think of me when I give it all up right when things are kicking off?"

If so, no wonder companies doesn't need booster for employee efficiency.
If so, no wonder companies increase their profits year after year.
If so, no wonder employees work day and night without qualms as they have every support for
company's mission and vision.

To her, is life worth sacrificing for the vision of a non-living body?
To her, is it worth being a good employee or a strayed opportunity seeker?
To her, there's something that fits every personality out there rather than impressing slaving for the bigger paycheque when there's already established policy to the increment.

Does it ever concern you that people will take you as weak when you quit?

I might reveal my plans in one of the coming posts. Stay tuned....

Oh, it's 12 am Malaysian time now!!!


May this year filled with laughter, abundance and accomplishments to both Akira and you guys!


Theeggyolks said...

happy new year!!

Akira said...

Thanks, Theeggyolks.
Have a great year ahead!

Angel said...

Hey girl, hope you find calmness within the turmoil surrounding you. If all else fails, there's only one important thing that can't be neglected. It's yourself. You live just once. At least live it so that one day, when you're old, you don't have to ask yourself "What have I done for myself?". Everybody else does not matter.

Quitting does not mean you're weak. It means you're wiser. :) Be happy.

Akira said...

Thanks Angel for the words of encouragement. It always touches my heart to receive words of wisdom from fellow readers. Thanks again and yes, I shouldn't think myself weak for quitting!

fufu said...

lol good to have these random thoughts... anyway happy 2010

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