Beware, It's a Rant!

Tweet

Just a thought. How many times have I thought I would feel this lonely? Never!! How many times mom warned me if I were to continue being so reserved, you'll end up living a lonely life. Her words never strike me a bit. I'm not lonely.. I say it again I'm not. I feel lonely when and only when I'm helpless. Normal times, I can frankly tell you I'm not.I'm surrounded by people everywhere I go be it in a restaurant, shopping mall, places I wander, and even now here at McD. see.. I'm not lonely.. right? Or yeah, I'm not alone right? I feel lonely not because I have no one to spend time with or to talk to it's just that I don't wish to talk... I find it energy zapping trying to talk and paying attention to what the opposite party says.. It takes lots of my energy to do that.... seriously speaking .. I don't know why I am just not at ease doing this and the first thing I'd just like after a long day is leave me alone with my thoughts.. I don't wanna talk and don't make me keep eye contact and force my qi to interprete what you say, worse ask for affirmation from me.. Things like you get what i mean? Are you following me? Now.. I'm lonely.. and lost.. No, did I say I'm lonely? No, I'm not lonely... I'm just being lonely at this moment and just this second.. Deep inside, I don't wish a face to face meet up, (who should it be?) or call a person to talk to.. even thinking about feels like putting load on my shoulder. I wish to listen .. and feel my surrounding with all my senses.. and just blabbing here.. This is why I have you my blog.. Though I did not start you for this reason..but to share my interests... I've pics of my recent wanders I should be sharing.. I have pics of my tennis outing I should be sharing .. I have pics of current ruins in my room I would like to show but I'm just too lazy.. let me rant once a while at least.. Thanks