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Friday, May 30, 2008

Sleep Ler

Why it's past 12 midnight and I'm not yet in bed. Tomorrow's a Friday but still is a working day. Why am I not tired? I don't know but I always feel that sleeping is not for me. Unless if I'm sleepy, I would rather do something else. Sleeping is just too time consuming.. I might as well use the time spent on other things I haven't got time doing. And yet, I can also spend time nibbling non stop thinking and contemplating bout my life, how's it going, where's it leading me, am I happy in my current situation....i can just nibble... give me a bag of chips. I can finish them..give me a tub of guava cubes you can watch me emptying it up in front of you, give me a 400g La Boheme walnut bread, I can tear and indulge in the fluffy soft bread bit by bit and tada...gone in a matter of minutes.

See, even a sports enthusiast like me finds it hard to loose weight these days. I'm already very happy I don't put on. Things just get out of hands when I'm by myself and start pondering on things. It's like I need the energy or nibbling to keep me in deep thoughts.

I just hate it but things will get me depressed when I start comparing myself with others. And when this starts. I feet myself lacking a lot and envy starts crawling in. Shall I talk further. I feel like I'm ranting. Bah!

Tomorrow... I can imagine what I'm gonna do again. Just like any other days, call/mail to follow up on proposal by vendors. Get the info and feed them to somebody else. Basically, sort of a middle person sandwished between the 2.

Well, well...is life worth staying on this way? I'm not progressing much and I coming close to a year here. What shall I do? Look further? Starts planning? Bah... too much things to think of. I'm starting to lose faith in working life. Read lots of rants on it. Seems like everywhere's the same. What to do if not work? Study? Blekkk...I finally get to escape, no... not going back so soon. I like the fact that I'm workin in a food company(my line of study) and not confined in the manufacturing plant but not very happy with certain factors. It would be difficult to get a position like this from what I've discovered so far. The grass might not always be greener unless I fall right into a position I like as much and satisfy me advancement wise as well. That's when lady luck strikes, otherwise ..disappointed I'll be. I'm being vague..and lame...I'm confused myself, but I'm gonna get things sort out soon, for sure! "First and foremost, what am I really after in life?" I should ask myself.

Working environment especially the people, the way they interact is something i haven't gotten used to. You see a lot of masks around you. Conversations would sound friendly with laughter and humour but the meaning might not me. Also, people working in the same company can be broken down by politics or previous misunderstandings whatsoever. I know this happens in every company. I'm just taking working environmento too personally. Working is not just about getting your responsibilities done...but to get there you've got to source info from others and that's when the people interaction skill is important be it internal or external sourcing. You've gotta be determined to get ur point across to make the person understand why it is important you get the information. Most of the time, people do not want to take responsibility of the info they provide and thus push you ding ding dong dong everywhere.

And that's when you start to see stars above your head.


Johnny Ong said...

agreed with what u have shared. that's life but if u knew what's yr purpose in life then it'll get interesting for u.

for me, no doubt, life is almost routine week in week out but i'm busy like mad. tired - yes; but satisfied

The Fitness Diva said...

I agree with Johnny ong. You have to figure out what your purpose in life is. Once you do, that will drive you. You also have to have a passion about it. That's what gives you the energy and drive to deal with the not so comfortable parts, like dealing with people you'd rather not, being in situations that frustrate or bore you. If you have that clear goal in mind and the true desire to achieve it, all that stuff will become slightly easier to take, because you know it's temporary.

I'll tell you. Dealing with people is not something that I'm an ace at. I have to work at it and learn every day. And my job is nothing except PEOPLE! Heck, I'd rather work with animals...I feel that I have more of a spiritual connection with them most of the time.
But without people, I can't do what I do. And teaching and motivating people to exercise is the one time I really care to have deep relations with them, and it's not forced...it's natural. Sharing the joy and excitement of moving and improving your body and physical life. Exercise is my passion. I turned it into my job. People? That was an afterthought that I had to LEARN how to master! Go figure.
In the end, it worked out! lol

I say think of what you really love to do, and try to figure out how to make money with it. I'm not sure of what the opportunities are where you live, because that does make a difference. Like, I live in New York, and anything is possible here. I grew up in a place where you can dream big and achieve it if you're determined enough. I know that every place is not like that.
You may even want to consider changing location if you're so brave. But whatever it is, you have to be willing to really just go all out there for it.

I hope that your spirits lift up!
Try to picture what you want to be doing in 3, 5, 7 years. That might get your creative juices flowing!

Good luck to you! I wish you well!

Call me A.S for AkiraSabine said...

Guys, thanks a lot for your words of kindness. That's very informative and encouraging. Yes, that's what I've been thinking from time to time. "Am I really satisfied with my current situation? Do I really wanna make a change? What options do I have? Should I give it up and take a break and see the world a bit before I move on with the next phase of life?" Things like that....but yeap, I'll get through with it as time passes. Thanks again, guys!

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